Practically Laura

Super Pastel Something

"At that time, Jesus said to the crowds, "Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest Me as you would against a robber? Every day I used to sit in the temple teaching and you did not seize Me. But all this has taken place to fulfill the Scriptures of the prophets." Then all the disciples left Him and fled. Matthew 26:55-56 NASB

One Sunday evening, I ordered pizza for the teen girls who attend Bible study at my house each week. I love pizza, especially the cheese part, but I have a dairy sensitivity, so I decided to head over to Taco Bell for two crispy tacos, sans cheese (Don't judge, Taco Bell haters.). I hoped to return before the delivery person arrived—even though my kids are teenagers, I don't like them answering the door to strangers. Yeah, I know it's a little silly, but I bet there are a few moms out there nodding their heads in agreement.

Moms are protective.

I arrived home about twenty minutes later to find that the pizza had arrived much sooner than I anticipated.

Warning bells went off. The delivery driver had parked in my driveway, car facing the street, no sign of them in the vehicle, and no one on my front porch.

As if on autopilot, I screeched to a halt, flung myself out of the car, and sprinted toward the front door. Finding the door locked raised the alert to red.

I pounded on the wood with my fist. I may have even kicked it, scrambling for my keys all the while.

"Emma! Emma!" I yelled as I shoved the door open, afraid of what I might find.

And what did I find? Nothing. Not a thing…other than my daughter, precious, safe, and wondering why her mom was raising such a ruckus.

I guess the pizza delivery person had been sitting in the car after all. I didn't see them, but I'm sure they saw my crazed race toward the door. I bet they congratulated themselves on the foresight they had shown by parking in my driveway in a manner facilitating a quick getaway.

To be honest and at times, I imagine myself as brave. I'm Batgirl or Wonder Woman or Super Something (but not Robin).

If I'm faced with danger, I wouldn't run. I would be fierce. I would be cool-headed, calculating, and protect those around me.

Well.

The truth of my potential response could more likely be plotted any place on the courageous to cowardly spectrum. I can't say with certainty how I would react if faced with a similar danger to the one the disciples faced. Just as in the pizza debacle and as a person untrained or unprepared for a crisis, instinct would most likely take over. Especially since I (like the disciples) would not have paid much attention to Jesus' warnings concerning His betrayal.

I'm guessing, furthermore, that if and once I started to run, I would outrun the whole pack.

My survival instinct is as keen as my protective instinct.

Jesus knew they would react this way, by the way. He foretold it earlier in the chapter, but I wonder what He thought and felt as He watched his closest friends flee. Maybe He felt sadness, maybe He felt exasperation, or maybe He felt both and so much more. I imagine Him sigh and shake His head, pinching the bridge of His nose. But that's just make-believe because we don't know what he was feeling.

A few things we do know:

1. Peter, scared and skulking around, did betray him three times before the rooster crowed (Matthew 26:69-75).
2. The "disciple whom He loved" made an appearance at the crucifixion and was entreated to care for Jesus' mother (John 19:26-27).
3. While on the cross, one of the thieves flanking Jesus asked to join Him in paradise (Luke 23:40-43).
4. After three days, an angel perched on the rock at the entrance to Jesus' tomb, now empty (Matthew 28:2).
5. He soon appeared to His followers (Matthew 28:9).
6. These five occurrences barely scratch the surface of the story.

I'm not trying to be hard on the disciples. After all, they were only human. They knew Jesus better than anyone; they had seen His miracles, and at least on a subconscious level, they knew He didn't need their protection.

But praise be to God and unlike the disciples, Jesus didn't run from God's will—He walked straight to it for our good and protection, despite knowing that it led to spiritual separation and a protracted, painful death. When he returned, moreover, he didn't run from his faithless followers.

He sought them out and forgave them.

In the past, He had called them friends.

"No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you." John 15:15 NASB

By returning to them, I believe He reinforced their importance to Him and demonstrated forgiveness toward them.

Wow.

Just like God will forgive us once we decide to follow Christ.

That's all it takes.

Now I have to admit that I like to decorate with bunnies, chicks, and other cutesy, pastel things at Easter. It's happy on a shallow level, but far more meaningful, it represents new life. I especially like multicolored eggs and the family memories associated with them, but I love stories of forgiveness, repair, second chances, and redemption even more. Just like this one. Talk about new life!

Happy Easter, everyone. It's yours for the asking.

Thank-You Notes: To My Friends

Maddy and Emma

In Montreal, we had to start from scratch.  Actually even in Fort Worth, we had to start from scratch.

In other words, we didn’t arrive with an entourage of friends and family in tow.  So I guess it was good that in Ft. Worth, even though we’d moved only forty-five minutes in distance, we were reminded how to make new friends.

This was always tough for me.  I used to be more timid than I am at present, but I knew I needed friends (I love people!), particularly in a new country. 

Then I found Katie.

I was walking Murphy, our dog, around the block in Westmount when a beautiful, little, blond girl spied Murph and wanted to make friends with our shaggy Cairn.  Perfect!  I had my own little, ash brown-haired beauty just a few doors down.  Maddy might make a great friend for Emma.  And all young moms know how that works—Katie, Maddy’s mom, might make a great friend for me.

She did.  I mean, we had our moments, but for the next several years we remained close.

Then we moved to Montreal-Ouest.  No big deal, right?  We were less than 15 minutes away.  But the truth of the matter was that even that small distance put distance in our relationship.  We were busy moms, now with two children each, and it was difficult to fit in the time to visit that had naturally arisen by passing each other on the streets of Westmount.

The times when we pushed our baby joggers up the hill to Roslyn Elementary, Emma and Maddy covered in down and struggling through the snowplow piles.  The times we, by design or by chance, ended up at Prince Albert Park, pushing each other’s children on the swings.  Those times when Katie, with grace, supplied spare snacks to my bottomless pit toddler (Yes, that would be Andrew.) when I’d forgotten once again to pack them.

Still once we moved and even though it wasn't as convenient, we did try to get together every now and then, and so Katie shared one of the weirdest, most frustrating, and funniest experiences I had during our time in Canada.

Let me set up the scene;

    1. We had adopted Katie’s cat Norman about a year or so beforehand when they         discovered Maddy had a cat allergy.

    2. We had moved to Montreal-Ouest, taking Norman with us.

    3. Craig was out of town on a rare business trip (This is always when disaster strikes.)

    4. We were in the long-drawn-out process of renovating our house and had just had new windows installed in the basement.

    5. Katie had invited us to dinner because she knew Craig was away.

    6. I was looking forward to this dinner with much relief and anticipation.

Then I realized Norman had crawled into the ceiling of our basement and been sealed in when the windows were installed.

It’s no understatement when I write that I was desperate to get him out—even to the point that I was cutting random holes in our new sheetrock; and placing stinky, canned food in the openings to lure him.

I was frantic, but it didn’t matter.   Nothing worked!

I called Craig; there was nothing he could do other than listen.

So I couldn’t put it off any longer.  I had to call Katie and cancel the lovely dinner plans that would’ve been the highlight of my week.

When the doorbell rang an hour later, everything felt better…because when I talked to Katie, she had a solution, not to the Norman issue but to the cancelled dinner.  She would wrap up all the food she had prepared (And Katie’s an excellent cook.), and she would wrap up Maddy and Nicholas, and she would bring the party to us.

She brought me a beer, too.

It was awesome.

The mess I had made, and the accidentally entombed cat were no longer insurmountable.  I knew it would work itself out because, in that moment, Katie saw what I needed and did it.

She took care of me.

Later that night, I heard Norman meow at one of the many holes I’d placed in the ceiling.  I wasn’t great at grabbing him, so I placed a large pillow under the opening. His invisible, euro murse packed to the brim with nonchalance, he stepped onto it and leapt to the floor.

I’m sure he zipped off to his water and litter box, but I didn’t stick around to find out.

I went straight to bed after a huge sigh.

But to get back on track, Katie’s not the only person I’ve been privileged to call a true friend.  I have so many.

So here’s my thank-you note to the ladies who’ve befriended me:

Dear friends,

When I sing, you urge me louder.

When I throw dinner together, you ask for the recipe.

When I don’t look my best, you call me beautiful.

When I cry, you dry my tears and pray.

When I’m hungry, you feed me a meal.

When I feel unwanted, you grab me.

When I see the irony, you laugh.

When my vision grows fuzzy, you lend me perspective.

When I become poetic, you get the metaphor.

When I play with words, you call me a writer.

When I don’t have the answer, you’re the handbook.

When my words are tangled, you understand.

When I’m lost, you welcome me in.

When we laugh too hard, you sober me up.

When others are deaf, you hear.

When others go, you stay.

God uses you.

Thank you for all of these things.  Thank you for teaching me how to be not just a friend—you teach me how to be a good friend.

There’s a world of difference.

You’re in my heart,

Laura

P.S.  Hold on to your hats because here comes more cuteness:

Maddy, Katie, Emma

Emma and Maddy: School Together

 

Maddy and Emma

 

Emma and Maddy: Murray Hill Park

Thank-You Notes: Steven, Part III

So while touring the Louvre, at the base of the Eiffel Tower, and around Versailles, I acted as if everything was still status quo.

And through the Chunnel, and scrambling around London to pick up our rental car, I never uttered a peep.

I acted a part.

I acted as if my life wasn’t changing in a huge way.

Maybe other people are prepared, but I wasn’t.

I wasn’t prepared for my first small taste of what it would feel like to have another’s life in my hands.

My second phone call (vaster-distance this time) was a bit better in that I received some true care or at the least, some comforting advice.  And I didn’t mind their matter-of-fact tone at all.

“This happens quite often in early pregnancy.  But you need to stay in bed a few days, and take it easy.  You need to keep your feet up, and don’t lift anything heavy.”

Like a dash of cold water had been thrown in my face, my thinking was clarified.  This was scary but in a good way.  Scary because there was the possibility I might lose this baby, but good because I knew that I did want to be a mom no matter how overwhelming the responsibility seemed.

So I parked myself in bed with a book and wrote in my journal for Craig.

Honey, I miss you more than I can say.  I cannot wait to see you, tell you all about the trip and (insert mildly private comment here.).  You are such a good husband, and I know you will make a great father.  In fact, it makes the thought of parenting so much more comforting to know you will be there with me. 

But what would I tell my cousin about my sudden need for rest?

I was rather shy about it, so I let my mother tell him; I’m not sure what she said exactly, but I was not asked any questions that might embarrass me (Thank you, Mom!).

Not that my cousin would be insensitive, anyway.

Honestly, I can’t remember if the three of us talked about the baby or not, but whatever the case, I was able to take it easy for the next few days.

Steve, however, didn’t have to tell me that he cared about our situation.  He’s such a gentleman that he just did things without any prompting.  Of course, Steven has always had a servant’s heart.

He still does.

Anyway, after he and mom came back from that first day without me, he had purchased me a couple of Staffordshire dogs.  Something I have always wanted (Isn’t taste unaccountable?) but something I might not have been able to afford on this trip.  Yep, he knew it and he bought them for me.

And he carried my suitcases whenever we moved to a new location, and he made the trip as stress-free as possible because he took on 99.9% of the driving.  He’s the kind of guy who just sees a need, and if he’s able, he steps in.

That’s the kind of guy he is.

Dear Steve,

Thank you for treating me as you normally would…because I needed that.  After all, my personality was not submerged because I was soon to become a parent.

Thank you for buying me those ugly dogs…I still love them.  In fact, they sit on my mantel even as I type this.

Thank you for carrying around my heavy luggage without complaint, and driving us around the upside-down and backward roads of Great Britain without incident.

Thank you for giving me a real hug every time you see me.  When people hug me like that, it causes something in me to forget the scary stuff for just a moment.

Thank you for being silly with me…and mom, too (She loves being goofy.).

Thank you for being my friend.

Your crazy cousin,

Laura

Epilogue:

Thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump…

“You told me it would be fast.”

“That’s how a normal baby heartbeat sounds.”

“Cool.  I love it.”

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Thank-You Notes: Steven

Thank-You Notes: Steven, Part II

Thank-You Notes: Steven, Part II

Over the next several days I began to experience some new sensations—my sense of smell grew beyond all proportion (Pre-pregnancy, I didn’t know we lived in a world with such varied kinds of, um, aromas.).  About a week and a half later, my stomach decided it didn’t like London fish and chips at all.  But otherwise, I tried to carry on as normal.  In fact, I didn’t tell my cousin that I was pregnant even though I did tell my mom and dad—Craig and I felt it would be better for mom to know in case I had any difficulties while travelling.

So we arrived and began our explorations, but mom and I didn’t talk about the pregnancy because I had a huge desire to keep it quiet, and I needed to act like everything was usual.  Truth be told, I’m sure I would’ve felt a little awkward bringing it up with my guy cousin despite the fact I’ve always considered him a close friend.

Not long after we hit the ground in Paris, we were walking over to the Louvre—it was only a few blocks from the Hôtel de la Tamise, the place we were staying, so it made a good place to hang out our first day.

I can’t remember much about that day (We were so jet-lagged.), but I do remember walking up to the Louvre, and feeling taken aback by the stunning juxtaposition of the I. M. Pei pyramid against the older architecture of the rest of the museum.

Isn’t everyone?

Funnily enough, I also remember being relieved to sit down and drink a slightly strange-tasting Diet Coke in a basement café later that afternoon.

After all, snack breaks are always a good thing.

In a journal I was keeping for Craig I wrote:

The plane ride was grueling, the taxi driver possibly “took us for a ride,” and we have not showered in over twenty-four hours (I think); but Paris is still one of the loveliest cities I have ever seen.  On the to-do list today:  1) Check into our hotel.  2) Visit the Louvre.  3) See the Eiffel Tower.  4) Buy post cards.

The Louvre was wonderful.  It had that peaceful, museum feeling at times and then pandemonium the next.  Although I didn’t think the crowds as bad as we had been warned.  We viewed the Mona Lisa, Venus d’Milo and several other great works of art…. 

People are friendlier than expected, more flowers are in bloom, the trees have not yet turned to their autumn colors, and the architecture on many of the old buildings is cool.

None of these observations were earth-shattering, but I’m glad I kept a short, albeit unimaginative, journal to take back to Craig.

After a rather non-touristy day at a marché aux puces helping Steve shop for antiques for his business (“Combien ça cout?” I repeatedly inquired while trying to figure the price with the exchange rate via calculator.), and eating gourmet, artichoke pizza out of a temporary store front at the market; we visited Notre Dame, St. Chappelle and Versailles on our last day in France.

Here’s a smattering of what I wrote:

We were rather disappointed in Notre Dame…

St. Chappelle was lovely.  The exterior stonework is wearing down giving it a fanciful look…it’s all painted woodwork inside—blue, red and gold.

Versailles was the highlight for me.  The size was incredible…we learned a bit about the different personalities of the kings and their times by viewing the rooms they decorated…

The grounds were wonderful…fountains and statues were everywhere.  My favorite part was the Queen’s Village.

Okay, we did find some fall leaves.

Through the Chunnel to England, and through it all, I tried to act as if nothing was unusual.

I think I was pretty good at it.  

But my flimsy facade was soon to crumble.

 

 

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Thank-You Notes: Steven

Thank-You Notes: Steven

A little over seventeen years ago in mid-October…

“I-I think I might be pregnant.  I took a pregnancy test and it was positive, but I’m leaving on a trip later today.  Do I need to come in before I leave?”  My voice shakes as I slump on the edge of our bed with the receiver pressed to my ear.  I'm worried they'll tell me that I shouldn't travel.

“No, honey.  You don’t need to come in until you’re (insert what seems a light year away) along.  Though we can make you an appointment today,” the nurse replies in a manner so matter-of-fact it causes me to have an odd sensation…maybe of confusion mingled with a little embarrassment.  I was supposed to call, right?  Don’t they care about me?  Shouldn’t someone congratulate us?

“Oh.  I didn’t know.”  I pause to gather my thoughts before I continue, “Is there anything I need to know or do?  Can I call you if anything comes up while I’m away?”

“Of course.  Let me transfer you to the front desk, so you can make your appointment, and we’ll call in a prescription for prenatal vitamins.”

And with that, my anticlimactic phone call was over, leaving me with the feeling I’d done something wrong by calling the doctor’s office and not feeling reassured at all about travelling so far after learning this life-changing news.

Later that afternoon as Craig was taking pictures of my mom, my cousin Steve and me at the gate before we boarded the plane to Paris; I felt a weird mix of excitement over our trip mingled with uncertainty about this new thing supposedly going on inside me.

To be frank, it was a little unnerving because I wasn’t expecting positive results so soon despite the fact we’d been trying to start a family for some time.  I hadn’t been ready to consult a doctor before that point (I wasn’t sure if I wanted to consult a doctor.).  When I finally got around to mentioning it to my OB, he quickly ran a blood test to check my hypothyroidism and discovered my medication levels were off.

Yep.  It was as simple as adjusting a medication level in our case, but in the meantime, I had started to get accustomed to the idea of never having children.  I had been through all the grief of hearing of others’ pregnancies and grown tired of feeling the pain and hiding the tears. I was ready to begin to let that particular dream go.  So I started mentally listing the positives of never having children and realized life wouldn’t be so grim without offspring and with a husband who was committed to our marriage.  In fact, there were many upsides to opting out of the incredible, but mixed blessing of parenthood.

Maybe subconsciously I didn’t want to grow up…because that’s what parenthood does after all.  There’s no escaping it.

Why then did I mention it to the doctor?  Well, I must’ve been undecided about never having children after all.  He adjusted my medication and POOF! I’m pregnant, just when I thought I should give up and count my blessings (Okay, yes, there’s a little more to it than POOF!).

Just when I had decided that life would be good with or without children.

I believe God loves to surprise a submissive heart.

So I boarded the plane for Paris with a tiny stowaway.

to be continued

Super Girl in Belize

Super Girl was given the opportunity to travel to Belize with her church youth group in July.  After she returned, I wanted to draw her out (She's normally not a big communicator.), so I decided to 'interview' her.  I hoped that approaching her with this type of format and plenty of forwarning would help her to communicate some of her experiences.  Additionally, I wanted a way to thank our friends and family for giving her prayer and financial support.  This way you can share in a little of her story as well.

I would also like to thank the adult leaders who guided, cared for and loved our kids enough to spend quality time with them in Belize.  You know who you are, and you're awesome!!

Honestly, the audio file I recorded of us talking together is absolutely precious to me.  I wish I could post it, but I've never worked on a podcast before.  This will have to do, and I've tried to let her voice shine through in the transciption.

The mood music is 'Awake and Alive' by Skillet.

Here is a link to Blue Thumb Mission's blog:  http://www.bluethumbmissionsbelize.com

My one comment is shaded in green, and I've abbreviated the teenagers' names for confidentiality.

Here it is:

How did you feel the morning you left for the trip?  Did it make you feel nervous when we had difficulty finding the terminal?  I was kinda a little nervous and, yeah, just really nervous about going to a new country.  And then a little frustrated because we passed the terminal; then I was excited by the time I got on the plane. 

Was the airport in Belize City a typical western-style airport or was there anything different about it? What did the city look like as you were flying in?  It was a typical airport but it was a whole lot smaller, and it generally looked different.  And when we got off the plane, we didn’t go through a tunnel thing but walked down on a ladder.  It was really cool.  It (Belize City) looked a whole lot different than Houston or any other city in the U.S.  And you could just see the trees and the rivers and the swamps and stuff coming in, and it was really cool.  In the bigger, populated areas, I could see the houses. 

What type of money do they use in Belize?  Can I see it? I have some I can show you.  They have paper money and coin money.  The one dollar is a goldish coin.  They have a $2 bill.  I think they also have a $5 bill, and a $10, and a $20.  It’s different colors.  The $2 dollar is blue.  Either the ten or the twenty is red. 

What were your impressions of the city and the countryside as you were riding to Blue Thumb?  It’s very wild.  I don’t think I’ve seen that many undisturbed trees in one place at one time.  The cities—you can really tell the difference right away—a lot of the houses you saw were not in the greatest condition. I saw a lot of houses that didn’t have full roofs or even full walls. You would see walls and then columns holding up a roof on top.  And it wasn’t really a roof like we have roofs but a thatched roof.  A lot of them, I’m guessing, didn’t have electricity or power cause it certainly didn’t look like it.

Tell me about the wild life?  What is the area around Blue Thumb like?  Blue thumb is in a village in the jungle.  They have cleared most of the land for buildings and stuff for the camp, but there was still a fair amount of jungle around the edges.  I saw a lot of palm, mango and coconut trees.  The fruit was too high off the ground for us to pick.  I think some of the guys climbed to get some.  And there were also orange trees, and I think there were banana trees.

As far as the wild life, someone saw a tarantula one night, but I didn’t see it…only a picture of it.  Joe and Piper’s son had a parrot named Chloe.  She was super cute.  Our last night there, someone found three baby squirrels.  I got to hold one of them for a little bit.  It was a little, black squirrel, and it was adorable. I think it was getting traumatized by being passed around so much.  The fireflies are everywhere at night.  There are monkeys, but I didn’t see any of them.

How did you help with the construction projects?  I really didn’t do much the first two days.  On the third day, I started drawing out plans for the bunk bed with AW.  I drew it, and she wrote out the instructions.  It turned out the first one we wrote wouldn’t work, and so I had to redo them because she was project manager and had to do other things.  So I had to write and draw the second set of instructions.  I based them on the different stages of construction and drew them out.  They gave me dimensions of course.

Did anyone play practical jokes?  Describe please.  Apparently, the guys were always playing jokes on each other, and I heard about a couple of them.  For instance, somebody put insect repellent on the fan in one of the boys’ dorms and turned it on; then there were dead bugs everywhere on the floor.  I heard most of the bugs were by the leaders’ beds.  I think someone put Gold Bond Lotion in the fan.  They pointed it at S’s bed, and it got all over his sleeping bag.  I think it was S, but I’m not sure.  On the subject of fans, in the girl’s room, AW and I were in the room by ourselves and we heard a klunk, klunk, klunk in the fan.  I thought she had somehow gotten caught in the fan.  But then I looked and there’s a gecko tail squirming on the floor. Then there’s just a gecko body in the fan (Poor little gecko!).   And on the subject of gecko’s, I was taking a shower, and all of the sudden, there was a gecko in there with me.  I spent half the shower just staring at it not knowing what to do.  I eventually was able to rinse my hair, and I caught it in a plastic bag, and An let it out for me. 

Were you relieved to find out your cabin was air-conditioned?  Yes, but I woke up twice the first night because I was too cold.

What were the children like at the soccer camp?  How did the group interact with them?  Did you have one or two in particular that you played with the most?  They kicked our butts at soccer.  I didn’t get to know any of them too closely, but on the second day I talked to some of the girls, and we played soccer.  The second half of that day, me and AF took a group of girls over to the swings, and we pushed the younger ones.  They were super cute.  There was a two and a three-year-old named T and I.  The national language is English, but a lot of kids also speak just Spanish.  A lot of them speak Creole, too, which is a dialect, but with the accent it’s hard to understand what they’re saying.  So you had to ask them questions, and they could understand you, but you really couldn’t understand them.  So it worked out somehow.

How are our lives different from the majority of Belizeans?  The majority of the country seemed a whole lot poorer than the U.S.  They don’t have many of the things we don’t give a second thought to like running water or electricity.  If you look at a house, it’s just a house.  I’m not sure if they were even properly insulated or not 'cause you can’t tell by just looking at it.  But in the bigger cities, they look on par to our houses.  Although in Belize, their houses are very colorful.  They like their bold colors.  And I think there are strict laws about cars, and gas is really expensive too.  I think it’s rare for a family to own a car.

Tell me about the Mayan ruins?  Did you make it to the top?  It was really cool but really high.  So yeah, I did.  You take a little crank ferry to get across to them.  The Mayan ruins were really cool.  I was a little awestruck by it.  There’s just something about it…there’s just a really cool feeling about it.  And there were lots of different ones.  From the biggest one, if you went to the top, you could see a view of the city behind it, and that city was on a hill.  So it made you think about those hill cities in Mexico.

What was the funniest thing that happened on the trip to you?  To someone else?  At meals, it seemed to be that it was usually me, AF, and An sitting with D, J, M and C sometimes.  D is just very easy to get along with.  He makes a lot of jokes.  J’s just nice in general, and I already knew C. 

Okay, so the guys started making up weird words.  One of them was boingo which is basically something you say when someone says or does something stupid.  Somebody (I’m guessing it was JJ) got the stewardess on the plane home to make an announcement.  She said, “Welcome home to Cypress Bible Church and Boingo.”  We all burst out laughing.  It was hilarious.  And one of the ladies sitting by us was telling us that we needed to tell her what it meant.  I don’t think she ever found out because it’s an inside joke.

The second to last large group, they were talking about how the day went, and Mr. Trent said bongo instead of boingo, and St was laughing so hard he fell off his chair.

I have to admit that I fell asleep twice during small group.

Do you feel as if you made lasting friendships with the other people in the group? Yes, I think I did.  I think I got a lot closer to the other freshman girls, and also the other girls on the trip like An and AF—we’re all Facebook friends now.  And they were all really nice.  I sat next to them (An and AF) on the plane on the way there and on the way back.  And we just got close because we ended up playing with the kids together or sitting eating a meal together.  An and AF are super nice and outgoing—An is especially outgoing.  It was easy to get along with them.  They’ve got an easygoing sense of humor which is good because I always enjoy a good laugh. 

Which of the other students did you admire the most and why?  How about the adults?  S and R ministered to a kid named J who was the son of the lady who cooked with Piper in the kitchen.  And they led him to Christ which I admire because I’m not sure if I could do that.  They really stepped up to the task.  We were there to disciple kids not necessarily evangelize.  But they did something that was out of the criteria, and I think that’s great.  As far as the adults, definitely Ms. Avalyn and Ms. Connie.  Ms. Avalyn was like a second mom.  She was the one in charge of first aide, so she was always taking care of everyone and always nice.  She made our beds the first day.  Ms. Connie was making sure we were drinking water, and she often filled our water bottles before the soccer camp.

What do you think God taught you while on this trip?  I guess just the whole experience in general.  At some point, on the way back from fireworks on Thursday, I kinda of had this surreal moment.  I actually realized I’m here in Belize doing God’s work to help Joe and Piper.  And I’m thinking this is freakin' awesome! I’m listening to Skillet in Belize doing God’s work and it’s freakin’ awesome (Skillet is a screamo, Christian band.).  I think I’ll remember that moment for awhile.

I bet the snorkeling was super cool.  Describe what you saw.  We had fins on and a snorkel.  Everyone had life vests, but not everyone used them--I didn’t use mine.  The first place we stopped, there were a lot of stingrays, and I also got to see one feeding.  There was a huge one almost as wide as my bed.  An said she saw a big nurse shark.  I only saw a little one, but I got to touch it because the guide caught it by its dorsal fin and tail, and he let us pet it.  I think it was thoroughly freaked out. I saw two sea turtles right next to each other, and they were just feeding on the grass.  But it was right at the end, so we had to leave, but I could’ve watched them for twenty more minutes.  And when we were going around the reef, I saw something that looked like a rainbow fish, but I never found out the name because the guide never saw it.  A lot of the fish were shades of gray or silver.  The coral was shades of brown.  We saw sea anemones, brain coral, fin coral, and other kinds I’ve forgotten. 

What color were the beaches, the water and the countryside?  The water was beautiful—it was so clear.  It was a really pretty shade of green blue.  And it was super clear by the beach on Ambergris Caye especially. The sand was a pretty pale, white yellow. 

Why do you think you felt as if you wanted to go to Belize?  They asked us this on the last night of the trip.  I didn’t really have a motivation per se to go.  I didn’t think I wanted to go on the trip at first.  But, I don’t know, the more I thought about it the more I thought it was a possibility.  Eventually I decided I did want to go.

How did it feel to be home?  It was great.  I was tired of all these people.  Yes, they were great people, but I was tired of people.  Too many people.   

 

A Craig and Laura Relationship

“You don't talk much... I like you!” – Young Ellie to young Carl in the movie Up

My fifteen-year-old daughter started talking about ‘hot’ boys around a year ago—generally, the imaginary type.  You know…from a movie or TV or a manga…like Chris Evans as Captain America.  It was interesting to me because she seemed to start on this typical journey of objectification so much later than many of her peers and, frankly, than I did.  This delay was, in many ways, a profound relief (I’m sure I don’t have to spell it out for any responsible parent.).

Yet it did begin.

You see, Craig and I have incredibly old-fashioned notions about dating.  But, however premature, I’ve still felt the need to have a few conversations with her about what I believe to constitute a healthy relationship—even though I don’t claim to be an expert.

Nor do I feel the longevity of my relationship with my husband necessarily qualifies me to comment.  I’ve known a few people who’ve been together far longer than Craig and I—and they’re unhappy.

But I can hope to give her some insights based on our own experiences, and I will…I must.

Because even though we, as imperfect persons, will be given to objectify the opposite gender, it’s important to point out the error of this mindset to those we should be teaching life lessons.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:  We’re so much more than the sum of our parts (or did I steal this quote from someone else?). So, whenever it happens…and it may already be happening…I want her to look past the obvious when dealing with real people whether they are purely friends or potentially more.

After all, we care about her future, so friendship is all we will allow her at this point (I know…many of you are shaking your heads at our naivety.).

So, to get back on track and believe it or not, one of the first illustrations I mentioned to her was from the movie Up.  Carl and Ellie have brought a few tears to my eyes—it was one of the best examples (and maybe the only) of a positive romantic relationship I’ve ever seen in popular media.

The screenplay was genius!

I mean, the writer must’ve plunged deep into their own psyche in order to give us such mature insights--and they portrayed it as an almost pure visual; there were very few words involved if I remember correctly.

I’m not the only person who feels this way about the opening segment of the movie, but why does it draw such an emotional response from so many?

I guess it seemed to exemplify a relationship with a sweet, fun friendship; mutual respect; support through adversity; and sound commitment.  It could’ve been otherwise because Carl and Ellie were portrayed as very different people.

So in thinking about my own relationship with Craig (and we’ve gone through many different phases), I’ve wanted to give our daughter some insights which may help her look beyond the immediate when developing her friendships plus…not all of which hark back to the movie.

So, my sweet daughter, here are some things you should look for or practice in a relationship (Craig, my love, some of these are my anniversary gift to you because you do live them out.):

1.  Since you’re a Christ-follower, only settle for someone who loves Jesus and takes developing their spiritual life seriously.

2.  Be wary of anyone bearing expensive gifts often and/or early into your friendship.  They’re very likely amazingly insecure or guilty if they feel the need to buy your regard.  Nor should they be looking for such things from you. 

3.  Look for a person who wants to return to you, to the metaphorical home…over and over.

4.  The above three things will take time to determine, so don’t be in any rush to push a relationship where it’s not ready to go.  Don’t let friends, family or ‘the world’ determine what your level of commitment should look like.

5.  Find someone who is not jealous of you, your talents or your opportunities.  They should never wish you to suppress your personality beneath their own (Think twice about anyone who is overly critical in general.).  They should encourage you when you’ve stalled and be the first to give you a standing ovation when you succeed—and vice versa.  If it’s the proper time, you should both be willing to put at least a short hold on your own desires in order to build up the other using the right amount of God’s resources at your disposal.

6.  Be committed to spending time together.  This may mean some compromise if your areas of interest diverge.  

7.  Like-mindedness is a blessing but showing mutual respect when opinions differ is an even bigger one.  In fact, this is such an active part of showing love—I truly can’t praise this practice enough.  Respect is an honest need for the vast majority of people.

8.  Look for someone who isn’t upset by emotion.  They may not completely enter into your feelings, but they won’t leave the room unless you’ve asked them to fetch a tissue.

9.  It's hard to word this correctly because attraction is so individual and unaccountable.  But here goes:  Even though physical attraction is essential, beware of too much of it.  Arrogance is not always but often can be an unfortunate side effect of beauty; its innate selfishness will quickly turn repulsive.

10.  Patience.

11.  Be loyal…you know, in the trustworthy sense.  How would you feel if they were discussing you behind your back or acting in a questionable manner?

12.  Forgive.

13.  Never think “It won’t happen to us.”  That’s a sure clue something’s being taken for granted.

14.  Cling to and seek God at all times, but cling especially tightly to each other when the hard things occur.

15.  Know that there are people who are praying for you.  Of course, this doesn’t mean the details of your relationship are any of our business.  Once you’re self-supporting, it’s always okay to tell those who interfere to stop—including your own parents.

16.  Pray together.

17.  We’re here if it doesn’t work out.  We’ll always love you.  But don’t let that tempt you from being committed when those fickle mushy feelings run and hide.

18.  This is true romance--a helpmate. 

Super Girl, we know you’re not there yet (Thank goodness!), but hang on to this if…when you might need a little direction.  But, even more, seek God and pray.

We love you.

Craig, thank you for wanting to be with me...for coming home as soon as possible.  Thank you for more often than not allowing me to have the last word--it demonstrated your faith in my ability to discern when I needed to change my way of thinking.  Thank you for encouraging me in my journey to discover my purpose.  You never doubted God had one for me after all.  I love you.  Happy 23rd anniversary.  Laura

November 18, 1989

Famolare Shoes

She probably doesn’t think I read her post because she knows how I love to reminisce…but I didn’t comment.

Instead it prompted me to once again stop and think (and stop and think) and try to remember about high school.  In particular, I tried to remember what it might’ve been like to walk into the building on the
first day.

It wasn’t as if I wasn’t familiar with the high school anyway.  After all, my sister had just graduated from Sunset the year before—I’d visited several times. But Lisa was off at college, and, if she’d been born a year later, I’m not sure she would’ve entirely welcomed my presence.  As close as we are now, four years during the teens can feel like an unfathomable galaxy. 
Only the U.S.S. Enterprise of age can begin to bridge that distance(Live long and prosper.).

However, I bet Kristi and I found each other somehow, some
way.  I bet it didn’t take us long.  We may’ve even set up a place to meet before class for solidarity’s sake—then we wouldn’t have felt so alone.  If we met at the front of the school (and I’m thinking we did), we would’ve had a whole pyramid’s worth of concrete steps to climb to get to the main entrance.  It was the kind of concrete with microscopic little pebbles, the Dallas kind.  So if you kept your head down as you climbed this gauntlet, it was highly possible to be distracted by the tiny, bright dots of color embedded within the steps; it might’ve made it a little easier to ascend with all the potential onlookers perched around.

We would’ve noted each other’s new clothes once together,
including some ridiculous Famolare heels I’m sure my resourceful mother helped me to find on sale because I wanted to feel stylish; I wanted to feel like I fit in.  I vaguely remember some burnt red, linen-y pants and a long-sleeved striped, cotton blouse.  I wonder if those were the pants I chose to wear the first day.

I don’t think the shoes did the trick, by the way.  I think I just felt awkward.

Nonetheless and with Kristi, her presence would’ve done the trick; it would’ve been another welcome and welcoming distraction.

Because we almost certainly felt awkward together.

Soon we would’ve scanned the crowd for Sus and Lori and Lisa
D., eyes darting hither and thither, and almost unthinkingly registering the cute boys who passed us by.

But we could talk over the cute boys later.

Yes, these were the boys who might break our hearts in a few
weeks time…the boys who might teach us to be especially careful with our feeble, patched-up selves for a very long while.

Teaching me it was better to remain just friends with the Y chromosome (even if on a subconscious level)…for all the cuteness.  After all, like a fine work of art, cuteness can be admired best from a little distance.

Even more importantly, we girls always had each other after
the sometimes treacherous boys took their leave.  We didn’t necessarily have to talk the heartache over in any great detail, but we stuck around…we continued to be there.

Therefore, when my own daughter left for her very first day
of high school this past Monday, I prayed for many things.  But one of the most important things I whispered to God concerned her friendships.

After all…belonging…is pretty close to everything.

Tumbleweed Thoughts No. 3: I Can't Pretend...

I hurt my back on January 1^st…and I’ve been in and out of physical therapy ever since.

And in truth, even though physical therapy has been a very good thing--I’m moving right along—I can’t pretend the whole back injury experience has been anything other than…well…a pain in the…(Do I really have to spell it out?).

But this isn’t the only area of my life where I’m unable to pretend…I’m a pretty open book for the most part.

Pretending isn’t a character trait.  I mean, only in my own head am I a good actress.

So…as I’m musing on February, and the various loves in my life (Actually, one just walked in the door.), this phrase becomes especially apropos because I can’t pretend I don’t want to plumb the depths of her existence.

I can’t pretend I don’t wish to be a fly on the wall.

I can’t pretend I don’t desire her to go to bed…and immediately asleep…as soon as we make her turn her lights out at ten.

I can’t pretend I’m not secretly enchanted she sneakily stays awake to read the book I’ve just purchased for her.

I can’t pretend I’m indifferent to whether or not she answers any and all of my questions.

I can’t pretend not to worry.

I can’t pretend I don’t get frustrated.

I can’t pretend not to be fascinated when she rambles on…because it’s pretty rare.

I can’t pretend not to think about her future.

And I can’t pretend I don’t love her with all of my heart.

Because I wouldn’t even try to pretend one of the most essential…most unbelievable…most miraculous…most strange…most lovely…most perplexing…most fear-inducing…most bittersweet things in my life isn't…having a daughter.

Sadly Back to Normal

My children drove me a little bit bonkers this past summer.

They’re four and a half years apart in age, you see…and they often have problems getting along.

Their differing genders probably fuel the misunderstandings…I guess.

However, I know how I feel about it.

I just want them to STOP IT!

We would talk about their arguing…and they would agree with my reasoning…and five seconds later one of them would correct the other…and the other one would load up and fire back.

But in one of those crazy, miraculous things about parenting…when the buses came to pick them up for school this week, I felt like crying…even though we all needed a sanity break.

So I went off to jog and then to do some volunteering.

I miss them, but I’m doing fine.

Yet the summer wasn’t all bad.  We had some lovely moments.  

Like the day early in the summer when I took them to the zoo despite the scorching heat.  Super Girl and I took our cameras (Snap, click, snap!), and we made sure we got around to see all our favorite animals. When my contact lens started bothering me, they were concerned and helpful.   In fact, they didn’t argue all day.  It was fantastic.  We sweated, but we worked together to have a good time.

 
Together

Our vacation, by the way, was awesome.  We were in Washington State for almost two weeks.  We found out our kids like art museums…and we already knew they liked towers and cupcakes and aquariums and bagels and all things city.

And they can hike…especially C.G.  Craig and I were carrying heavy backpacks full of water, food and camera equipment along the trails.  At one point on a particularly steep trail…when I needed a break, I handed C.G. my backpack, and he took off up the hill with all the energy and enthusiasm of a nine-year-old boy…which he is.  During our explorations, we shared and appreciated visual experiences like banana slugs; water in all shapes, forms and sizes; craggy, powerful mountains; and moss without end.

 When we were at Olympic National Park and walking on the beaches…and Craig and I were overwhelmed with the beauty of God’s creation (with me manifesting my joy by constantly jumping up and down, whirling and throwing out my arms toward the sea stacks and telling the kids to Look around! for the five hundredth time), they were pretty quiet with their complaints despite the blisters forming on their feet, and the tides being too high to see the sea urchins we had hiked two miles out to spy (okay, C.G. shed a few tears over that one…He LOVES tide pool creatures).

Then we had quiet moments...moments when I would read aloud to them while we were sprawled all over the furniture.  My inner actress would manifest, and they laughed at all the right places, enthralled.

We’ve still not finished that book, and I’m wondering if they'll be too old for it next summer.

I hope not.

Super Girl started Tae Kwon Do.  It was so fun to see her doing kicks.  She looks like a natural to me…of course.

And C.G. earned his blue belt.  I have a picture of him…beaming…his face is the sun…his pride illuminates our everything…if only for that frozen moment.

So as the groaning buses rounded the corner taking them away…maybe it wasn’t so surprising I was sad.

Maybe it was right.

Maybe it was terribly right…to be sadly back to normal.

 
A Slug You Could Saddle Up