Tumbleweed Thoughts No. 3: I Can't Pretend...

I hurt my back on January 1^st…and I’ve been in and out of physical therapy ever since.

And in truth, even though physical therapy has been a very good thing--I’m moving right along—I can’t pretend the whole back injury experience has been anything other than…well…a pain in the…(Do I really have to spell it out?).

But this isn’t the only area of my life where I’m unable to pretend…I’m a pretty open book for the most part.

Pretending isn’t a character trait.  I mean, only in my own head am I a good actress.

So…as I’m musing on February, and the various loves in my life (Actually, one just walked in the door.), this phrase becomes especially apropos because I can’t pretend I don’t want to plumb the depths of her existence.

I can’t pretend I don’t wish to be a fly on the wall.

I can’t pretend I don’t desire her to go to bed…and immediately asleep…as soon as we make her turn her lights out at ten.

I can’t pretend I’m not secretly enchanted she sneakily stays awake to read the book I’ve just purchased for her.

I can’t pretend I’m indifferent to whether or not she answers any and all of my questions.

I can’t pretend not to worry.

I can’t pretend I don’t get frustrated.

I can’t pretend not to be fascinated when she rambles on…because it’s pretty rare.

I can’t pretend not to think about her future.

And I can’t pretend I don’t love her with all of my heart.

Because I wouldn’t even try to pretend one of the most essential…most unbelievable…most miraculous…most strange…most lovely…most perplexing…most fear-inducing…most bittersweet things in my life isn't…having a daughter.

Comments

[Laura A.]

Thanks, everyone! Sorry I haven't replied sooner, but I was out of town. I appreciate you reading and commenting. And I especially appreciate your friendship. Hugs to all!

[Marie]

This was so touching. Enjoy all the moments!!
Always loved this picture of Super Girl.

[Super Bluebonnet]

So, so sweet. Amazing that that little cherub is so quickly growing into an absolutely awesome young woman!

[Nadia Cooper]

Beautiful Laura! All teary and touched by what seems to be a wonderful feeling! oxo