Friendship is a risky business…especially for someone as transparent as I.
Friendship love (and all love for that matter) is often beyond my reckoning.
How I’m drawn to another seems quite a mystery.
It’s rare I can define what pulls me to friendship.
But it seems as if there are certain people who hold out such welcoming…such automatic sunshine, I’m drawn in without my conscious thought.
Eventually, there will be times of slight discomfort…times of getting to know the real personality…times of getting closer…when it’s revealed they’re not really you…they’re not wired completely like you, but it’s usually okay. You accept their differences, and they accept your imperfections…you move along…together.
Other people seem riskier from the get go.
They may seem a bit different…there may be a sense of unfamiliarity, or they may seem intimidating. You may sense they’re holding something back. They’re a tough nut to crack, as some might say.
You may have to work harder to unravel their mysteries…you may never completely unravel their mysteries, but you eventually learn them better…the comfort and welcome slowly seep in...over time.
In the end, you’ll find yourself meeting on common ground…wondering why they ever made you uncomfortable in the first place.
There is a third group.
They are the bad-first-impression makers.
You may try and hide your feelings…you may be successful at hiding your feelings, but you dislike them from the beginning.
Yet…somehow…you’re unable to shake them. For whatever reason…in whatever circumstance…they’re part of your life, and it’s beyond your control.
Amazingly…wondrously…one day, these people surprise you. You have a shared experience (either together or separately), and you truly learn…you shouldn’t let first impressions guide you. There is more depth than first imagined…and it’s a good kind of depth…not a wrong kind of depth.
You learn to treasure them…to love them.
In all three cases…it’s a precious and unaccountable thing.
You are so right, Laura. I once met someone who I deemed to be impossibly cheerful. She had to be faking it. For a year, when our paths crossed I forced a smile and a giggle - until I finally realized that she wasn't faking it. I now consider her one of my dearest friends. Luckily, behind all that sappy sweetness is a wildly funny and occasionally mean wit!
Posted by: Suzy Tarnowski | Apr 04, 2011 at 07:36 AM